hesitation

Self Confidence Basics

How to be More Confident

No Comments 10 October 2011

This is for people who are confident enough. This is for the people who have enough achievements and milestones and have found their niche in this world to prove their self-worth. People like you. You know that you have done a great job in getting where you are and yet, you also know that there’s still a way to go. You are in a good place. Acknowledging what you have and what you need is very important to getting where you want to be.

You are most probably in a plateau, where it is high enough to see the bottom. You must be reflecting and reliving the climb. If you’re thinking of a job, looking back to your first day in the office could be amusing. If you’re unto a business, the day you start off the enterprise is something every entrepreneur is proud of. Now, if you’re concerned about your confidence as a person, a lot of us will mark first year high as ground zero. Whatever it is, all of that is way behind you.

Now, you’re looking at taking up new heights.  Is that a major job promotion? Is it a career change? Or is it a massive business expansion? Or you just realized that you have found your perfect partner in life and all you need to do is to let her know? That’s tough. You’re already seeing the journey and challenges ahead. You’re probably weighing the risks, being the practical person you are.

As you might already know, this is not a question of choosing the right decision. It’s not a matter of what, or which but a question of when. You know that you have to take the step. You have to act now, if not, then maybe tomorrow or next week. You know that if you don’t make the move, you’ll be stuck forever in your plateau, or slide back to where you’ve started. There are no choices.

So what’s holding you back? Right, it’s the confidence. You know you are good; in fact you are confident that you are great where you are right now. That is mainly the reason why you are contemplating on taking on another level up. You consider yourself capable enough to handle bigger things. You think you’re ready for better things.

What you are afraid of is how you will fit in your new position. Will you be a good boss as you’ve been a good follower? Will the girl like you as someone more than a friend? Can you manage a corporation as well as the medium business enterprise you started with? Will you be a success? That is the real issue, right?

Getting out of our comfort zone can be intimidating. Achievers don’t want to fail. Nobody wants to fail. Nobody wants to slide back down the ladder of success. But whose ladder is that? Who set the measure of success for you? Is it your father? Are you conforming to the society’s established yardstick of achievement? Or is it just your own idea of what is successful and what is not?

If you’re thinking of other’s opinion and measures of success, then any change for you will be hard. You will forever be driving yourself to succeed. And once you achieve something, people will expect you to get more. That expectation will drive the pressure. Pressure and fulfillment have never abided with each other.

Focus on what you want. What makes you happy? Who are you as a person? Are you whole enough that you don’t need the outside world to spell out your happiness? Are you considering the position because you think you can serve the company better? Will you be happy even if the girl opted to be just your friend? Are you worried because you might fail them?

To be more confident is to simply create an empire, then make yourself king. It’s easy, let us teach you how. For starters, you can contact us to set your appointment for a free coaching session.

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Self Confidence Basics

Self-Confidence Quotes

No Comments 18 September 2011

Take a confidence boost from these lines coming from the most notable success personalities. Their success like ours doesn’t necessarily be based on fame, fortune and all its trappings. Before we can be a success to the world, we should first be a master of ourselves.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.  ~Henry Ford

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know.  Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.  ~Buckminster Fuller

What a fool, quoth he, am I, thus to lie in a stinking dungeon, when I may as well walk at liberty!  I have a key in my bosom, called Promise, that will, I am persuaded, open any lock in Doubting Castle.  ~John Bunyan

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.  ~Peter T. Mcintyre

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.  ~Anaïs Nin, Diary, 1969

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.  ~Michael Jordan

A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage.  Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort.  ~Sydney Smith

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.  ~Paul Tillich

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss

Confidence is preparation.  Everything else is beyond your control.  ~Richard Kline

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.  ~Sophia Loren

They are the weakest, however strong, who have no faith in themselves or their own powers.  ~Christian Bovee

We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

If you doubt yourself, then indeed you stand on shaky ground.  ~Henrik Ibsen

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.  ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, 1958, spoken by the character Holly Golightly

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.  ~Thomas Alva Edison

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.  ~William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure, 1604

I was thinking of my patients, and how the worst moment for them was when they discovered they were masters of their own fate.  It was not a matter of bad or good luck.  When they could no longer blame fate, they were in despair.  ~Anaïs Nin

The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.  ~Andrew Carnegie

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows.  ~John Powell

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.  ~Veronica A. Shoffstall, “After a While,” 1971

Every day we slaughter our finest impulses.  That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty.  Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths.  We all derive from the same source.  There is no mystery about the origin of things.  We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, to discover what is already there.  ~Henry Miller, Sexus

Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people’s orchards.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.  ~Author Unknown

A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy. ~ Vivica Fox

Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed. ~ Channing Pollock

Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act. ~ Jack Welch

I emphasize self-esteem, self-confidence, and dignity, not as an ideal, but as a real test of community organization. Without leadership development, community organizations do not have staying power. ~ Paul Wellstone

If you’re a director, your entire livelihood and your entire creativity is based on your self-confidence. Sometimes that’s dangerously close to arrogance. ~ Trevor Nunn

In the book of Gaga, fame is in your heart, fame is there to comfort you, to bring you self-confidence and worth whenever you need it. ~ Lady Gaga

It is only necessary to have courage, for strength without self-confidence is useless. ~ Giacomo Casanova

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. ~ Arthur Ashe

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. ~ William Jennings Bryan

With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. ~ Dalai Lama

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter. ~ William James

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~ Jim Rohn

The wise does at once what the fool does at last. ~ Baltasar Gracian

What you get by achieving your goals is to as important as what you become by achieving your goals. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Wherever you are – be all there. ~ Jim Elliot

You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. ~ Jack London

You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals. ~ George S. Patton

Belief creates the actual fact. ~ William James

Change your thoughts and you change your world. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Faith is love taking the form of aspiration. ~ William Ellery Channing

Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy. ~ Lao Tzu

In a gentle way, you can shake the world. ~ Mohandas Gandhi

Its lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself. ~ Muhammad Ali

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face. ~ Helen Keller

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ~ Robert F. Kennedy

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. ~ Brian Tracy

What’s the worst thing that can happen to a quarterback? He loses his confidence. ~ Terry Bradshaw

When you engage in systematic, purposeful action, using and stretching your abilities to the maximum, you cannot help but feel positive and confident about yourself. ~ Brian Tracy

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Self-trust is the first secret of success. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself. ~ Paul Bryant

First thing every morning before you arise say out loud, “I believe,” three times. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world making the most of one’s best. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline: the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. ~ Abraham Heschel

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. ~ Swedish proverb

Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Whatever good things we build end up building us. ~ Jim Rohn

Where there is no shame, there is no honor. ~ African Proverb

The average estimate themselves by what they do, the above average by what they are. ~ Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

The foundation of lasting self-confidence and self esteem is excellence, mastery of your work. ~ Brian Tracy

The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. ~ James Allen

There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. ~ Hindu Proverb

Trust yourself, and then you will know how to live. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.  ~ Dr Nathaniel Branden

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.  ~ Brendan Francis

Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  ~ Norman Vincent Peale

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. ~ Beverly Sills

You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and yet you have the key in your own hands, and you may use it the moment you learn to control your thoughts. ~ Napoleon Hill

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. ~ Lao Tzu

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. ~ Cecil Beaton

Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. ~ David J. Schwartz

To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. ~ Anatole France

Be bold. If you are going to make an error, make a doozy, and don’t be afraid to hit the ball. ~ Billie Jean King

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ~ Mark Twain

Infinite money is available to a mind that is ready, willing, able, qualified and gives itself permission to earn and accept it. ~ Mark Victor Hansen

Once you become self-conscious, there is no end to it; once you start to doubt, there is no room for anything else.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

All that Adam had, all that Caesar could, you have and can do…. Build, therefore, your own world.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nature

We are like the little branch that quivers during a storm, doubting our strength and forgetting we are the tree – deeply rooted to withstand all of life’s upheavals.  ~Dodinsky

There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a King. ~ Orison Swett Marden

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~ William James

Go big or go home. Because it’s true. What do you have to lose? ~ Eliza Dushku

I can, therefore I am. ~ Simone Weil

I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be. ~ Ken Venturi

One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interests. ~ Peter Marshall

For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat. ~ Wallis Simpson

Mankind is made great or little by its own will. ~ Friedrich Schiller

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”  ~Anna Freud

“What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

“I believe that you’re great, that there’s something magnificent about you. Regardless of what has happened to you in your life, regardless of how young or how old you think you might be, the moment you begin to think properly, this something that is within you, this power within you that’s greater than the world, it will begin to emerge. It will take over your life. It will feed you, it will clothe you, it will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence. If you let it! Now that is what I know, for sure” ~ Michael Beckwith

Don’t let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in walking distance.  ~Author Unknown

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.  ~Author Unknown

assertive

Self Confidence Basics

Assertiveness Training

No Comments 13 September 2011

Assertiveness isn’t always perceived as a positive trait. Some people might take offense of somebody else’s strong personality and firm stand. This will eventually lead to conflict. There is a thin line that separates assertiveness to stubbornness. Being assertive without the conflict is a behavioral and interpersonal skill, and like any skills, you can learn it.

People who usually get what they want are not necessarily of strong personality. But they’re definitely not timid either. Of course, position and influence plays a major role in getting away with things, but having without isn’t good enough reasons to be passive. When working in an organization, being assertive is a must. This will not only help you in your career, this is also important if you are to keep your self-esteem and confidence. Here are some assertiveness training tools you can use to be more assertive:

  • Know where you stand – Consider your values and stand by it. You can definitely apply it to yourself but not to everyone else. You don’t want anybody to impose their beliefs in you. That goes the same with everyone else.
  • Jilt the guilt – When you think you’re right, you don’t have to have to worry that you might offend another person. Speaking out will let them know that you are aware of what they are doing, and that they are doing it wrong. Don’t feel guilty; you might even be doing them a favor by pointing out their misbehavior.
  • Speak clearly and directly – Do not let emotion ride high when you’re expressing yourself. It is good to be emphatic but make sure that you are able to state what you want clearly across. Stop once you’ve stated your point. Anything beyond that will make you sound pushy if not annoying.
  • Be flexible – You boss might not like your action plan as a whole, but certain parts are perfectly alright with him. Artfully ask if the refusal is about the whole idea or is it just on a niggling detail. If it’s a detail and you can address that detail, your boss will have a hard time rejecting that. This will also certainly earn you his notice, if not his respect.
  • Patience – It is not easy to accept other people’s idea even if it’s a lot better that your own. Be patient. If your proposal is the best among the lot, everyone will eventually get to like and accept it.
  • Ask nicely – People who usually get away with things almost never shouts or demands anything. They ask nicely. Assertiveness is way too different from aggressiveness. The former will initiate respect while the latter will certainly cause conflict. Don’t forget the magic word. Please.
  • Give respect – Evaluate and show appreciation on other people’s idea as well. They might have a better plan. Probe further for their intentions; it might work even better for you. Be open-minded. If you still think that your idea is worth trying, drive for a compromise.
  • Stay humble – Do not gloat on your wins. That might be your last. People will never give you another win if you will only trash on them afterwards. Having it your way doesn’t make you a better person than the others; you just have a brighter plan.
  • Gracefully accept rejection – Don’t take a rejection personally. If you insist, try to analyze on the reason of the rejection. Was there a better idea? Were you overstepping your bounds? Try to assess the shortcomings of your proposal, and learn from it.

Being a push-over is something we all avoid. Passivity will never help us either, at work, school or even amongst our families. It is very easy to say that it’s the “favorite” who always get the best of everything. But stop awhile. Try to see Miss Favorite and how she deals with her requests. Nobody says you can’t imitate her.


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