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Self Confidence Tools

Answers in Self-Help Books

No Comments 13 October 2011

Self-help books have been around for a long time. As early as the ancient Egypt, self learning books have been written and circulated. Many regard The Bible as most significant and effective self-help book. This literature has also evolved over time. 15th century instructions were focused on the strictest of etiquette, guide books to love and interpersonal relationships.

Over the last few decades, significance and presence of self-help books have never been more prevalent. Nowadays, around 3% of the printed and downloaded books are of the self-help genre. It is also notable the shift of focus on the subjects. Most popular subject matters of today are focused on dieting, anger management, stress management, brain stimulants, languages, body building and other how-to’s and do-it-yourself guides.

The momentous of the self-help evolution is on its focus of conduct. Whereas before, they tend to tackle subjects on one’s proper behavior around society, the present editions are more on personal development for one’s own happiness and wellness. Early issues of these books will teach you how you will properly conduct while with and around other people. Things like proper posture, how to laugh properly, table manners and rules in courtship. Every nuance of one’s behavior while with other people are subject to rules and guides, but nothing was said when one is alone and on his own.

On the contrary, self-improvement books of today are centered on one’s self. Issues on how to feel and look better and generally be better people are often discussed. The main thought of the recent issues is the “you, in control of yourself” theme. You have the power to stay healthy, young, slim and beautiful. You alone can end your bad habits. You and nobody else can cause your success. Your opinion about yourself is the only one that matters.

In an age of self-rumination, self-empowerment is at its best. In this society, we are no longer shackled with codes of conduct. Social order and boundaries are a thing of the past. It no longer matters how you were born. What counts is how you will improve yourself and succeed. Race, gender, sexual preferences, age, even looks and intelligence is no longer a relevant variable to success. Nothing else matters but you. This seemingly empowering autonomy is also a double sided blade. When you alone is responsible with your life, all blame is also put at your door.

So, the question is, are these books effective? Can they really help? Yes and no. Yes, these books can provide you factual information and answers to your questions. They can guide you on the basic and complex steps of the process that you want to undergo. They are also rich in advices, tips and pointers to better ensure your success. These books are also effective. People still buy and patronize it, which is why authors, editors, writer and publicists are still around are churning out more books.

No, these books won’t do you any good. It can teach you how to exercise to get six pack abs, but do you have the motivation to sustain the routines? Books can guide you what to eat, will you have the will to stick to healthy foods? They can certainly give you tips on how to study more effectively, but do you have the drive to learn? Pointers from stress and anger management handbooks will all go to waste if you do not have the peace in your heart.

The answer really lies with you. First, know yourself. With that, you will also know the reasons of your anger, the source of stress, why eat a lot and why you seem to lack the energy for everything. The answer is with you already. You don’t need a bunch of books to uncover that. You just have to look within, harder and deeper.

We conduct free coaching sessions on self-cogitation. Contact us for your appointment. We can help you help yourself.

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Self Confidence Tools

How to Build Self-Confidence

No Comments 02 October 2011

As you are on this page, my guess is that you don’t feel confident enough. Is it how you look? You don’t feel gorgeous enough? Do you think your skills aren’t that outstanding enough? Your brain isn’t that sharp enough? Usually, it’s about a girl or a guy who you think is way out of your league.  It happens a lot because we keep comparing ourselves to the perfect models of what we perceive as our ideal persona. You constantly dream of that ripping six-pack abs, sky-high IQ and your boss’s job. You have conditioned yourself that if you’re just to have these qualities, you’ll be on top of the world, successful, confident and happy.

We all know that in reality, that is not the case. Here’s a list of quick fix, often advised solutions to your sagging self-confidence.

  • Power Dressing – Dress to success. Good clothes are said to lend confidence to the person wearing it. Looking good and feeling expensive will boost your confidence as you walk up to your girl or enter a room for a very important presentation.
  • Power Walk – It has been established that a person walk could reflect his level of confidence. Trotters are known to be more confident, while the slow walkers are those in the dumps.
  • Hold your Posture – A man that sits with his back straight, could look you straight in the eye, and keeps his chin up is a man of substance. So better not slouch and make a conscious effort of maintaining a good posture.
  • Highlight your Strengths – Make a list of your good qualities and read them out to yourself whenever you’re feeling low. You can also go to forums and listen to motivational speakers.
  • Be Thankful – Again, you have to make a list, this time put down all things that you are enjoying. Family, good health, a job, friends, talents, world peace. Focus on what you have and avoid dwelling on what you don’t.
  • Pep Up Others – Give good cheer whenever you have the chance. Don’t be stringy with your praises. Always look at the good side of everyone. Eventually, all these will come back to you.
  • Front Rows – Confident people always sits in front. They are not afraid of visibility. On the other hand, people who always seek the backseats or stay in the background are afraid of calling attention to them, thus lacks confidence.
  • Speak Up – Don’t hesitate to voice out your opinion and thoughts. Most people are afraid of speaking up because they fear rejection and ridicule. So keeping their ideas to themselves are better alternatives than committing mistakes in public.
  • Sweat it out – Another highly taunted confidence builder is body building, or at least keeping yourself physically fit. Exercising will definitely build you up physically and amp up your energy level as well. A sense of accomplishment that results from improving your physical appearance is always good for confidence building.
  • Give, Give, Give – Another fell good activity is giving. Just thinking on the contributions that we are capable of giving will sure boost confidence.

These are just some of shallow and superficial remedies that you can do to fix your slumped self-confidence. That’s right. These are just temporary solutions. They might work for you in some situation and in some point in time, but not for all time and all circumstances. Dressing up might make you feel good about yourself, but what happens when you dress down? Are you sure everyone else like your suit?

The key to real confidence should start within you. It’s in knowing your inner self. The “you” that is not dependent on other peoples’ opinion. Focus on yourself as that is where you have absolute control. Trying to please the people around you will only prove frustrating for the simple fact that you cannot please everyone. Start on pleasing yourself. Happiness and confidence will follow.

There are ways, effective ways to do that. They’re actually simple and plain to see, we just have to realize and accept it. We can teach that to you. If you’re interested, get in touch with us for a free 30-minute coaching session. It might just be what you need.


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